Aieth Gadol Leolam Adonai

Babycakes

A few years back all the animals went away.
We woke up one morning, and they just weren’t there any more. They didn’t even leave us a note, or say good-bye. We never figured out quite where they’d gone.
We missed them.
Some of us thought that the world had ended, but it hadn’t. There just weren’t any more animals. No cats or rabbits, no dogs or whales, no fish in the seas, no birds in the skies.
We were all alone.
We didn’t know what to do.
We wandered around lost, for a time, and then someone pointed out that just because we didn’t have animals any more, that was no reason to change our lives. No reason to change our diets, or to cease testing products that might cause harm.
After all, there were still babies.
Babies can’t talk. They can hardly move. A baby is not a rational, thinking creature.
We made babies.
And we used them.
Some of them we ate. Baby flesh is tender, and succulent.
We flayed their skin, and decorated ourselves in it. Baby leather is soft, and comfortable.
Some of them we tested.
We taped open their eyes, dripped detergents and shampoos in, a drop at a time.
We scarred them, and scalded them. We burnt them. We clamped them and planted electrodes into their brains. We grafted, and we froze, and we irradiated.
The babies breathed our smoke, and the babies’ veins flowed with our medicines and drugs, until they stopped breathing, or until their blood ceased to flow.
It was hard, of course, but it was necessary.
No-one could deny that.
Whit the animals gone, what else could we do?
Some people complained, of course. But then, they always do.
And everything went back to normal.
Only…
Yesterday, all the babies were gone.
We don’t know where they went. We didn’t see them go.
We don’t know what we’re going to do without them.
But we’ll think of something. Humans are smart. It’s what makes us superior to the animals and the babies.
We’ll figure something out.

-Neil Gaiman

R\*/M's Not So Much Comedy Time

Pregunta: ¿Cuál es el traducción al español de la frase overworked and underpaid?
Respuesta: Iniciativa Privada.

Blackbeat dice:
¿Alguna vez has tocado con tu lengua las aspas de un ventilador encendido? Se siente chistoso.

Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life

Harry Blackitt: Look at them, bloody Catholics, filling the bloody world up with bloody people they can't afford to bloody feed.
Mrs. Blackitt: What are we dear?
Harry Blackitt: Protestant, and fiercely proud of it.
Mrs. Blackitt: Hmm. Well, why do they have so many children?
Harry Blackitt: Because... every time they have sexual intercourse, they have to have a baby.
Mrs. Blackitt: But it's the same with us, Harry.
Harry Blackitt: What do you mean?
Mrs. Blackitt: Well, I mean, we've got two children, and we've had sexual intercourse twice.
Harry Blackitt: That's not the point. We could have it any time we wanted.
Mrs. Blackitt: Really?
Harry Blackitt: Oh, yes, and, what's more, because we don't believe in all that Papist claptrap, we can take precautions.
Mrs. Blackitt: What, you mean... lock the door?
Harry Blackitt: No, no. I mean, because we are members of the Protestant Reformed Church, which successfully challenged the autocratic power of the Papacy in the mid-sixteenth century, we can wear little rubber devices to prevent issue.
Mrs. Blackitt: What d'you mean?
Harry Blackitt: I could, if I wanted, have sexual intercourse with you...
Mrs. Blackitt: Oh, yes, Harry.
Harry Blackitt: ...and, by wearing a rubber sheath over my old feller, I could insure... that, when I came off, you would not be impregnated.
Mrs. Blackitt: Ooh.
Harry Blackitt: That's what being a Protestant's all about. That's why it's the church for me. That's why it's the church for anyone who respects the individual and the individual's right to decide for him or herself. When Martin Luther nailed his protest up to the church door in fifteen-seventeen, he may not have realised the full significance of what he was doing, but four hundred years later, thanks to him, my dear, I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas...
[sniff]
Harry Blackitt: ... and, Protestantism doesn't stop at the simple condom. Oh, no. I can wear French Ticklers if I want.
Mrs. Blackitt: You what?
Harry Blackitt: French Ticklers. Black Mambos. Crocodile Ribs. Sheaths that are designed not only to protect, but also to enhance the stimulation of sexual congress.
Mrs. Blackitt: Have you got one?
Harry Blackitt: Have I got one? Uh, well, no, but I can go down the road any time I want and walk into Harry's and hold my head up high and say in a loud, steady voice, 'Harry, I want you to sell me a condom. In fact, today, I think I'll have a French Tickler, for I am a Protestant.'
Mrs. Blackitt: Well, why don't you?
Harry Blackitt: But they - Well, they cannot, 'cause their church never made the great leap out of the Middle Ages and the domination of alien Episcopal supremacy.

Diez palabras

Diez palabras es un proyecto encargado de recopilar las 10 palabras "más lindas, más bellas, más evocadoras del castellano o español", a continuación escribo las que yo elegí, y que aparecen con el número 140:

• trémulo
• conspicuo
• zahorí
• arcano
• plétora
• bajel
• ecléctico
• ceremonia
• mutis
• retruécano

Sin embargo, en el español también hay palabras oscuras, y que por alguna u otra razón nunca me han gustado (¿alguien ha iniciado una recopilación de esto?). Para ese tipo de palabras, esta es mi selección:

• himeneo
• vilipendioso
• grandilocuencia
• polipasto
• anquilosado
• onomatopeya
• palimpsesto
• cabreado
• pastorela
• bucólico

Rejoice!

¡Voltron llega a la pantalla grande! ^^

Momento zen, patrocinado por Microsoft

El texto dice:

La impresora no ha respondido todavía, pero puede que el programa Microsoft Office pueda continuar sin la información de la impresora. ¿Desea continuar o esperar a la impresora?

"Sí" "No"

Hmmm.... Se murió el banner. A ver como lo arreglo...

UPDATE: villagephotos apesta, photobucket no tanto.

Los libros ficticios de Borges

The Approach to Al-Mu'tasim de Mir Bahadur Ali (1932)
April March de Herbert Quain
El Libro de Arena
The Conversation with the Man Called Al-Mu'tasim Mir Bahadur Ali
El Quijote de Pierre Menard
A First Encyclopaedia of Tlön
El Jardin de Senderos que se Bifurcan de Ts'ui Pen
A General History of Labyrinths de Silas Haslam (1888)
The God of the Labyrinth de Herbert Quain
History of a Land called Uqbar de Silas Haslam
Lesbare und lesenswerthe Bemerkungen über das Land Ukkbar in Klein-Asien de Johann Valentin Andreä
The Secret Mirror de Herbert Quain
Statements de Herbert Quain

=(

Joel Johnson se va de Gizmodo, malas noticias para quienes disfrutábamos de su buen humor y excelentes revisiones de aquello que todos los geeks amamos: los gadgets más novedosos. Solo queda esperar al siguiente proyecto con la seguridad de que con su talento no le hará falta suerte.

¿Dónde está Wally?

Pickup Lines Used by Mario

• "Are you a magic feather? Because my heart just grew a tail, and flew away."
• "If you were a warp tube, I'd be in you all day."
• "Are you a magic mushroom? Because you are making me grow."
• "Are you a magic flower? Because you are burning me up."
• "I'd rather ride you than Yoshi any day."
• "If Princess Toad looked liked you, I would have killed Bowser years ago."
• "If I had the choice, I would gladly spend my 100 coins on you instead of on an extra life."
• "You don't have to turn on a game to play with me."
• "They don't call me Super for nothing."

Alevosamente robado de McSweeney's.